I'm Exhausted

I've been planning on releasing new content of all kinds for a while. But with the disgusting events being brought to light in the media it wouldn’t sit right with me if I didn’t speak up. There is so much more to the fight than spreading awareness, although that's important, alone it is simply not enough. I’ve attached a link that will assist with donating and supporting the Black Lives Matter cause.

I've been trying to come up with some poetic route to express how deeply troubled I am by the reminder that racism runs rampant through America but I can’t. I don’t have the energy to dress up my words nor do I have the patience to make them frank but flowery. I’m just tired. I can’t muster up a better way to put it. I'm absolutely exhausted. Every week a new name is circling my timeline with a new video and petition to match. I feel like a broken record saying the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. When are people going to get it? How many times do we have to remind people that Black Lives Matter? That the lives of other human beings hold value? Why is that something that needs to be convinced? You didn't believe us the first time? What is it going to take? How many black bodies need to hit the floor before you get it? How many need to be hunted on their morning run? Shot in their sleep? Thrown from a balcony? Smeared into the street? How many more black people need to be murdered for you to acknowledge the problem and make some real change.

This is absolutely heartbreaking. I tried to make it cushy and flouncy sounding but I can’t. Every time I try to phrase things nicely I get choked up. There’s too much to say and no time to make it nice. I'm tired of having to make a case for my own life. I'm tired of people brushing my words off when I tell them their actions hurt because I’m just an “angry black girl”. Hell yea I’m angry and they should be too. I don't understand why everyone isn’t enraged. And why when we try to practice your beloved freedom of speech we’re thugs and tear gassed. I’m just exhausted by the counter arguments - what do you have to say to negate the fact that black human beings deserve to live. What is it now?? I’m tired of untucking the chain to my backyard and for a moment hoping that everyone understands this is my backyard and I’m not trespassing. I'm tired of going on a run and losing my breath not from exercise but terror that someone will “mistake me for someone else”. I’m tired of seeing my dad in the faces of those brutally murdered. I’m tired of being tokenized, belittled, ridiculed, and killed. I’m tired of fighting for a right to live.

Although I am tired I will continue to fight as my brother and sisters did before me. Hope is not lost. We will march on, alongside George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Atatiana Jefferson, Stephon Clark and the many other angels who have had their lives taken by police brutality. We will march on until victory is won.

https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/